i forgot i wasn't allowed to have one.
u guise



Would you buy these?
Serious answers only..

Things I want to do in 2009
- finally get a tattoo that I've been waiting almost 2 years for
- convince SVM to finally go on a real tour (and go with them)
- see as many concerts as I can
- get my portfolio together and send it to people. homegirl wants to get paid, yo.
- try to sort the real from the fakes.
- get rid of my gut (among other things)
- follow a band around florida (hey, it could happen)
- have a completely sober 21st birthday (since i wont be having a party, or doing anything for it, this is attainable)
- get serious
- have more fun
- loosen up
- learn
- find a job I like.

CDs for SALE!
I think I'm going for 5 bucks each, but if you want more than one I can definitely work a deal.

These are promo CDs that I was sent by record labels to review for my old job. They are seriously sitting in an old Converse box not doing a damn thing. Lol I definitely do not listen to these bands. Some of these are promo-releases, advanced copies, or the actual album. They come in hard-cover CD cases or paper/plastic sleeves.

Yes, I am down for trades.
Yes, I am down for bribes.
Yes, I can ship internationally
Yes, I might be adding to this list as I go through things.

Get Back Up- "Weathering the Storm."
Shit Outta Luck- "Family Tradition"
Capital- "Honefront"
Oh, Sleeper- "When I am God"
Zolof and the Rock and Roll Destroyer- "Schematics"
The Warriors- "Genuine Sense of Outrage"
Pain Principle- "Waiting for the Flies"
As Tall as Lions-(Self titled)
Belay My Last- "The Downfall"
Jen Elliott and Bluestruck- "8 Days Down"
Guerilla Fighting Method-"Valerian"
The Morning Of- "The World As We Know It"
This Is Hell- "Misfortunes"
The Wonder Years-"Get Stoked On It"
Terror- "Rhythm Amongst Chaos"
Sara Wendt- "Weightless with Love"
Scarpoint-"The Silence We Deserve"
Down To Earth Approach-"Come Back To You"
She Wants Revenge- "This Is Forever"
Seasons of The Wolf- 4 song Sampler
The Frantic- "Audio & Murder"
Sick City-"Night Life"
Scapegoat- "Zombie Dog"
The Suffering-"Terminal"
Pyramaze- "Melancholy Beast"
The Alrights- "High School"
Too Pure to Die- "Confidence and Consequence"
Circus of Dead Squirrels- "The Pop Culture Massacre and the End of The World."
The Expendables-*Self Titled*
Answer- Reorenem Respostes (For the record, this is in Spanish.)
Box Bomb- "My Obsession"
Sophia Ramos- Her Majesty
Memphis May Fire-*Self Titled*
Living Hell- "The Lost and The Damned"
Organized Crime Records 2007 Label Sampler
Face The Panic-"The Reclamation"
The Velmas- "Station"

Its twelve o'clock and I need your attention
Its just a shitty time over here right now.

I lost my job on Friday due to slow business. And seeing as I was the last one to get hired, I am the first to get laid off.

Then my dad called and said he is losing his job because they are shipping his job overseas to India (as many jobs are).

Unfortunately, in the divorce agreement, he is supposed to pay for the mortgage because he caused it. But, if he doesn't have a job, he cant pay.

You know, you watch the news and see all the other families being torn apart by job loss and foreclosure, and you think that it couldn't happen to you.

I'm a statistic now.

I'm in that percentage of Americans that are losing everything.

I spent Friday night on Monster.com looking at jobs. Its fucked up man....

Do you know what its like to go to bed not knowing how long you're going to be able to sleep in your room? You start thinking of what you have that is any value that you can sell.

I know what its like to have the water turned off.
I know what its like to have the electricity turned off.

I've peeled my drunk father off the driveway where he passed out at 5 in the morning more times then I can count.
I've heard my father drunkenly threaten to kill my mother, call her a cunt, and look me right in the eyes and tell me she was brain washing me.

I know what its like to have to give up college because you need to get a job and be an adult. To have to keep food on the table, the lights on, and a roof over your head. (memo to my ex friend who told me I was immature and would never grow up? Fuck you.)

I know what its like to stay at a job I hate to make some cash.

I know what its like to turn down the biggest opportunity of your life because of said job.

But, here I am. Jobless.

Soon to be homeless.

It's a scary thought...

last resort
SVM Signed:

We've been trying to keep contract negotiations under wraps, which of course means some of you fans already caught wind of it. St Valentines Massacre has officially signed and entered into contract with Megaforce/MRI Labels. For those of you who don't know, Megaforce is responsible for releasing albums from such artists as Metallica's first two albums, Anthrax, Mushroomhead, Ministry, and more. In addition, through MRI we will be distributed through Sony/RED, and our full length debut album coming in 2009 will be available online through Amazon, BestBuy, Fye, iTunes, Hot Topic, and in select retailers nationwide. We're very excited about our new release with MRI, and we know you'll love getting your hands on a copy of SVM's most powerful album yet

Somehow, I dont see that doing anything for me. Good for them. They deserve it. They worked their asses off for it.

Little Rocker Photography is closing. Little Rocker Media is opening.

Work is going well for once.

Im currently with the Flu

Twitter is the best thing ever invented.

Buzznet has some surprises up its sleeve.


Definition of a Wall Flower: Usually refer to people who are shy and fade in the background , that none really knows or pays any attention to
-a type of loner. seemingly shy folks who no one really knows. often some of the most interesting people if one actually talks to them.

I've noticed, I only have one best friend. The sad part is she lives in Upstate NY. So, in all reality, I have no one.
Its just me and mom.
Thats about it.

I've been thinking about that alot lately.
Realizing just how alone I am

See, my best friend has everything going for her. Shes talented and popular. Professional and Sassy. Beautiful and personable. She can talk to anyone and get the hook up.

Me? No one cares about. See: Wallflower. I just kinda, am.

Its good for her though
She deserves it.

Afterall, why wouldnt anyone want to hang out with her?

It just doesnt matter what I do, I'll never have that. I'll never be as talented and popular as she is. i'll never be as Professional and Sassy as she is or as Beautiful and personable.

At least one of us is, right?

(no subject)
There is a felling that comes over me with a camera in my hand.
A warm rush of excitement
A feeling that I cant really describe

and then there is the other half of this
That makes me want to break down and hide

Thanks for making me feel less than human
That i'm below you

it makes me feel great

VMA's 2008
Hey lovers!
Last year, Bree and I brought you a recap of all that was MTV VMAs

This year however, Bree is without the finer thing in life called cable-tv and is unable to watch.

So, I'm going at this alone. :( It's a bit sad, to be honest. Its like talking to yourself.

Bear with me, and my multiple personalities. =)


7:52: Still Watching House on USA. Just informed Mom that she must turn MTV on at 8pm. (Is anyone else simultaneously recording True Blood on HBO?)

7:57 What the hell are the Hills still doing on MTV? *ugh*

8:00 Lol Sway is on a helicopter.

8:01 I hate Lauren Conrad. Just and FYI.

8:03 TI is sexy. *nod nod* And no, Taylor Swift doesn't have a chance @ Best New Artist. Sorry.

8:05 How insane is it that all the limos have peoples names on the hoods of the car? Katy Perry is awesome.

8:07. LOL Tokyo Hotel in a Monster Truck. Thats hilar.

I hate commercials. Like, is their really a point? So, you know how people pay a substantial amount of money for Super Bowl commercials? I wonder how much they pay for VMA commercials?

8:13 HAHAHAHAH KATY AND MILEY! FTW! Thats amazing.

8:14 T-Pain, What the fuck? An elephant? Clowns? Drums? No....

8:17 Pink is always amazing. So is Jordin Sparks

8:20 Is it bad I'm kinda excited to see Britney? To see how bad she embarrasses herself this year?

8:23 Lol. Panic at the Disco is in a van. Bringing back the 'hard touring days' they never had? Ryan's a nerd.

8:27 Yeah, the "beef" is SO squashed between Katy and Miley. Suuuureee

8:28 Does Kid Rock just roll out of bed and show up to award shows? Does he even shower? LOL Michael Phelps. Remember when no one cared about him like, three months ago?


8:34 Am I the only one who cant get into dance shows? Dancing With The Stars... America's Best Dance Crew...

8:34 LUPE!!

8:36 I love Brittish accents....

8:37 JONAS BROTHERS *heart palpitations*

8:37 Sway has a daughter? Woah...

8:40 *Jams to Jonas Brothers on commercial for some Verizon thing*

8:42 Linday Lohan HAHA


8:43 LOL Benji and Paris. *facepalm* Well, at least she knows what BFF stands for... thats hot...

8:44 AAAAAHHHH JONAS BROTHERSSSSSSS.....Lol at Joe standing *soclose* to Taylor Swift.

8:46 Slipknot strangely looks good... in their own creepy way..

8:46 Omg. Ashlee is the cutest pregnant girl ever. And shes VERY pregnant. Wow.

8:51 holy crap. Kobe brings porn stars...

8:52 Ew. Hayley's dress. Ew... and hair... Did she really... *facepalm*

8:54 Taylor Swift has an Outfit Crush on Ciara. Thats a good phrase. Im stealing that.... and her "boyfriend" well, her boyfriend's younger brother.

8:59 What? Paris doesnt even make sense anymore.... like she ever did....

Britney + Jonah Hill = hilar.

Oh, britney looks cute...

Wonder how long it took Britney to learn her monologue.

Lol zombies dancing to Rhianna

Rhianna looks adorablez.

Eh, the performance wasnt that good...

Lol Russel Brand (Bland, Brandt, Band, Bund..lol) is hialrious.

"Can-ye West" Lol

"without fame, this hair cut could be mistaken for mental illness"

Woah, political commentary.


Female Music Video of the Year:
My Pick: Katy Perry- I Kissed A Girl
Winner: Britney Spears- Piece of Me. Good for her. Its about time...

Pete Wentz is on my TV as usual.

WTH? Who plays Oasis at the VMAs? But its okay when its a remix....

Lol. VMA ALERT: (its like a hurricane alert) THE JONAS BROTHERS WILL PERFORM THEIR SONG "LOVEBUG" IN 9 MINUTES! You have 2 options: Evacuate, or grab your little sister for a 'legit' reason to watch the performance.


Best Male Video
My Pick: T. I- No Matter What
Winner: Chris Brown- With You. Its cause he can dance, isnt it?

LMFAO "It will be a while before she brings any of them off" - Russel introducing Taylor Swift, whos introducing Jonas Brothers.

Awe, They look like they are on the set of Sesame Street.

Okay, no seriously. I love the Jonas Brothers. There I said it. I am a JoBro fan. If I get lot, please send me to Nick Jonas...

holy crap. crazy jobro fans.

I wanna hear Katy sing Like a Virgin...do not go to commercial....assholes...

What the fuck, why didnt they televise Katy's performance? RIP OFF!

lol "My cock has never been so mositurized"

Michale Phelps looks so awkward...

LIL Wayne is adorable in his own way. Is that bad?

Where is Tyga/Wentz during Wayne's performance?

Lol @ blanked out curse words.

Wayne and T-Pain's dance > Soulja Boy

LOL @ Soulja Boy not getting nominated for best dance video.

Best Dancing in a Video
My Pick: Chris Brown- Forever
Winner: Pussy Cat Dolls- When I Grow Up. HUH?! They are strippers with recording contracts!!!!! Does Nicole let anyone else talk/be on camera/be known?

Am I the only one who hasnt gotten into Twilight?

but I love MTV RealWorld/Road Rules challenges

Pete Wentz...get off my TV with that redic get up.

No, seriously, am I the only one not into the Twilight thing?

paramore at Whiskey-a-Go-GO. Are they even allowed to drink Whiskey?

Lol 2 Russell crashing the intro.

Misery Business Orly?

oh god, those obnoxious yellow pants...

hayley needs to stop yelling when she sings

mmm, josh farro.... yes plz

Lol @ Russel wanting to sleep with JoBros.

Slash must own like 300 top hats. or has had the same one for 20+ years.

Best Rock Video:
My Pick (s) : Slipknot- Pshycosocial and Fall Out Boy- Beat It (shoot me)
Winner: Linkin Park- Shadow of the Day

1. I'm not calling ANY of this tonight, am I?
2. Meh. I dont like LP.

Lol. Awe. I love Miley.

I'm stoked on Pinks performance.

holy shit. i have a crush on pink. thats all

Eh. Ting tings.

Lol. Awe. Pete and Ashlee.

Lol "one for me, one for the baby. one for me, one for the baby. one for me, one for the baby..."

Okay, I never thought Id EVER see Slipknot on the VMAs. And I like it.

Best Hip Hop Video:
My Pick: Lil Wayne, Lupe, and Kanye
Winner: Lil Wayne

WOO! I called one! And Good for him. Million Records and Moon Man. its Wayne's year.

Oh, Jordin Sparks firing back on the purity ring commentary. You go girl.

I want TI to sing to me....

I also want TI to be in my living room. Or bedroom....

Okay, how cute was it to see JoBros standing and being all O.O at TI? and Nick not paying attention at all

I want to see what Russel is gonna fire back to Jordin now...

LMAO HSM3. Once again something I never got into...

Yay! Christina!!! =)

I remember the first time I saw Christina. We were both so young. Haha...

AH! Genie in a Bottle! but, this is the first time Ive see X-Tina lip-sync. DNW. She has such a great voice, and should not be lip syncing.

LOVING the New Xtina song. but stop lipsyncing

Yeah, she hasnt lost it. =)

Lol. Awe. Jo Bros not amused at Russel. Except Kevin.

Best New Artist- Tokyo Hotel. Um. What?

Stop with the Paris commercials

McLovin, I love you.

Best Pop Video:
My Pick: JONAS BROTHERS-Burnin Up (sorry Panic)
Winner: Britney Spears-Piece of Me

*head desk* Its cause they feel bad for her....

Lupe, in my pants. Now

Is Mario Lopez MTV's bitch?

Um, Drake and Josh? What? Kid Rock? What? *mindfuck*

Kid Rock needs to not sample good classic rock songs.


Kobe Bryant walks out. Joe Jonas is not amused.

Video of the Year:
My Pick: Jonas Brothers- Burnin' Up
Winner: Britney Spears-Piece of Me

Its true. They feel bad for her. I've seen the JoBros vid more on MTV then I have ever seen Brit's video on there. Its like the "world" and by "world" I mean MTV execs want her to save face from that shit she pulled last year. There is a reason Britney never won. She doesnt have nearly as much talent as any of the others. She lip-synced every performance she did, and was no where close to Christina's talent. Maybe MTV forgot that....

I think Kanye has lost his touch. Sorry. I just... I'm not into him like I used to be.

Now, Jonas Brothers Pic Spam because I need it

(no subject)
I’ve always stated I will never bow down to you to show you I am worthy of your comments and buzzes.
I’ve always said I never have to explain myself to you, and why I do things the way I do them.
But let me make something clear.
You are not better than I am.
For those of you flaunting around your press passes and thinking you are the hierarchy of photo-journalists, you could not be further from the truth.
Anyone can get a photo-pass. Anyone can find a publicist, email them, and get a little sticker with ‘Press’ or ‘Photo’ on it.
They can also take pictures with a Kodak disposable camera if they chose to.

You can have a resume of shows a mile long.
You can have a 7 inch thick stack of photo passes.

But you can also have no talent.

Am I saying that I am God to all that is photography? Absolutely not. But do I think I am doing something right? I’d like to think so.

Since I started this, I’ve been fighting to get at least an ounce of respect for my peers. And how do I know I have not received it?

Because some of you don’t believe in me. You want to question my ‘abilities’ to perform, when you’re just mad you didn’t think of it first. You want to rub it in my face how you deserve it more than I do.

Case in Point: At warped Tour this year, a photographer who is not much older than I am, and is very successful (working for AMP, Spin..etc.) was also doing press with me. I admire his work a great deal, as he is doing what I love to do. As a budding photographer, I asked him for advice. He looked to me, laughed, and walked away. This was his stage. How dare I walk onto it.

Not only was this rude, but it was unprofessional. And it haunts me to this day. To know that there are shitty people out there that wouldn’t dare tell someone how to perfect their craft, their dream, when they went to them for solid advice.

You met a band, or band member? Guess what? So have I. It does not make you a noble citizen. It does not give you an advance in the meet-and-greet. Nine out of ten times, they will not remember you next time. They meet hundreds of people a day.

Shared a piece of gum with Pete Wentz? I know people who have 1) shared more. 2) never bragged for paragraphs on their ‘professional’ meeting with him. Why? Because it makes you look unprofessional. It’s a fan-girl commentary on meeting her favorite band.

And he wont remember it.
Maybe some of you don’t realize you post on the internet. Where anyone can see. Where your name goes on everything you post.

People search their names. You’ve heard of Gabe Saporta lurking on FBR-Trash. You might want to think about how you ‘wanted to get on your knees and suck him off to a mind-blowing climax after your interview in the back of the bus.’

Just saying.

And now I have to prove myself. To make myself worthy to Buzznet that they can send my best friend and I on a summer tour, trusting us with their namesake.

I’m not looking to make you proud.
This is for me.
This is for my mom, who drives me to every show. Who helps me buy equipment when I need it. Who never stopped believing in me, even when I stopped believing in myself.
This is for my dad, who, in his own way, always knew this is what I was supposed to do. Who is rare to give me a compliment.
This is for my best friend, who without her, I wouldn’t have the balls do to half the things I do. She is my confidence. She is my wingman. My number one.
This is for the band, who offered me a platform. Who continually remind me how talented I am, and how far I will go.
This is for the Buzznet Staff, who never stopped loving me. Who have told me time and again how much they appreciate me. Who are quick with a laugh, and a pat on the back. Who feature my stuff. Who make all this possible.
This is for the kid who stopped me outside a show, to tell me he had seen me at numerous other shows, and hoped I got successful. Just so he could say he saw me in action.

This is for them.

And I’m going to prove to them that they will have nothing to worry about.

Birthday Massacre
I've always hated birthday parties.
I'm not one for attention, no matter how bad I crave it.
I hate when people sing happy birthday. You just have to sit there for 45 seconds, stare at a cake, and blow out candles.
Birthday wishes never come true. No matter how hard you blow. No matter how many candles you blow out in one breath.

16th birthday sucked
17th sucked worse
18th was amazing
19th was horrible

20 was mediocre at best. Between spiders in the shower, my cake being wrong, and having some of my best friends leave 45 minutes after being there, I'm swearing off all parties from now on. No more planning. No more getting hopes up.

I knew at the beginning of the day that something was going to ruin the day. I hoped and prayed it didn't, but alas...

I have great friends. There is no doubt about that. I don't make friends with shitty people anymore. I have been friends with a lot of horrible people in 20 years. Though I wish some I haven't met, I thank God (or whomever) for them because they made me who I am today.

Thanks to those who did show up, no matter how long you stayed. The effort was what mattered.

Other things going on:
* I spoke to my dad for 13 minutes today. That's the only conversation we've had since June.
* The website is taking longer than I wanted it to. I can't focus.

I'm tired of feeling alone
You ever feel like you're out of the joke(or are the joke?)

I just want someone to hold my hand, and tell me its going to be alright. Someone to lay with. To play my therapist. To listen to me when I need it. Not to give advice, just listen.

I think some people are destined to find someone (or not). I think I'm the latter. It maybe just isn't in the cards for me. I'm sure it happens.

I just want to feel not alone.

You know when you want something so bad, and no matter what you do, you'll never have it? That's how it is with him. He is a completely unattainable goal. But I don't want to accept it. Is that selfish? Probably.

The World's Not Waiting (For Five Tired Boys And A Broken Down Van)

"This might just be a waste of time
But there's no one I'd rather waste my time with than all of my best friends
So start the car up
We'll all take turns but not for the worst
We're all "hasbeens" and "never-were's"
And we're all in the back singing "Roxanne"
Just watching life pass us by
Pass us by
As if we cared enough to try and catch up
Enough to make up for lost time
We've been down
We've been out
We've been hanging 'round
Tip our glasses to having no direction
Start the van
Get me out of this one horse town
Waste this night"

But more importantly.....

"Thank you.
You know exactly who you are.
You played the role of superglue when I was falling apart.
Through all the papercuts and broken hearts.
Through all the nightmares and anxiety scares."

xoxo- christine


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